Sunday, November 14, 2004

CostMO

Women love to make jokes about their men and shopping. Several of my friends swear that they cannot trust their significant others to go into Sears, Lowes or the Home Depot without female supervision. Others can't turn their back on their men in sporting goods stores. I can totally understand this. You see, I have proven yet again that I cannot be trusted to venture into Costco alone.

It's not entirely my fault. They have built this virtual wonderland of bulk shopping. It's all laid out there like a smorgasbord and it draws me in like a starving child. As soon as I walk in the door, there are the electronics flashing brightly. Sure I want a laptop and while the brand and model I want isn't there, just LOOK at those prices! But I was a good girl. I only played around with them for a half an hour or so and some of that was browsing software. Yeah, I found a program I couldn't live without. Into the cart it went. Just when I thought I was safe, there were the photo printers that I have convinced myself I really need. Again, I resisted temptation, but I made notes for later.

I was feeling pretty confident until I got to the book and DVD section. How could I walk away from this stuff? The prices sure beat those in the retail stores. I threw a couple of books and a DVD into the cart and moved on. Next I got to the section that always tests my willpower – the wine section. Granted, the selection isn't always fantastic, but ever since I found that bottle of Vieuve Cliquot for $29.99 I have been hooked. There is at least SOMETHING I’ll drink. Luckily my favorite white was there for $19.99 – a price reduction! Woo Hoo! Two bottles into the cart (can't get that price at the wine shop!) and I was on a roll. I only circled the display twice this time. I am proud of my level of restraint.

Next stop – food. How can I be expected to behave myself here? I LOVE food! Besides, they plot against even the most disciplined shopper by strategically placing those sample carts all over the place. Of course they sample extravagant foods that most people do not buy on a regular basis. But (insert whiney voice here) they are so good! Certainly my family deserves a treat every now and then, right? Although I have more cheese in the fridge right now than Hickory Farms, I could not pass up that fabulous 5 pound block of extra sharp cheddar. Then all I did was turn my cart and BAM – there was that fantastic artisan bread dead ahead. Perhaps the 4 pound package was a bit optimistic, but what the heck, we’ll just plan a fondue night or something.

The meat department is one of my personal favorites. I can justify just about any purchase here. You see we bought one of those vacuum pack Food Saver thingies a couple of years ago. Buying in bulk saves us money. We call it the schrapper, and while the replacement bags can get a bit spendy, it's worth it to me to save a buck a pound and schrap the meat for the freezer. Half a ton of meat later and I was on my way to produce. The cart was starting to get a bit unwieldy.

Why is it that the produce in Costco seems to look so much better than in my local grocery store? Could it be that it's stacked in such immense piles that the sheer volume blinds me? Whatever, I picked up what I "needed." What the heck is a pummelo anyway?

I finally got around to the paper products. We eat toilet paper around here, so I was sure to pick up a brick of that. Luckily my cart had one of those bottom racks so I could save space. Paper towels go fast around here, too. It was unfortunate that I forgot buying that pallet load last month. No problem, we'll still use them. Darned messy kids. I then proceeded up and down the frozen and refrigerated foods aisles. More damned samples. Surely we'll consume the 5-pound bag of wild mushroom ravioli right? The kids despise mushrooms and I'm not too crazy about them either, but with the right sauce and some stealth on my part they'll never know what's in it. I'll just enjoy another opportunity to play the martyr and choke them down because; hey you can’t beat the price! I'm doing my part for the family budget.

By the time I made it to the dried foods section, my cart was piled rather precariously. I had to stop to do some creative rearranging, but it was all good. In this section I always reason that the stuff doesn't go bad in the pantry. It doesn't matter that I picked up a 24 count box of spaghetti (a pound a piece) and a 12 can package of stewed tomatoes among other things (I DO make chili every once in a while, although my recipe uses only one can at a time). It makes sense to get after school snacks for the kids, too. They eat them eventually.

Finally I rolled through the section I like to call the HABAs (health and beauty aids) and picked up all the stuff we eventually will use. 2 gallons of conditioner for $9.99? You can't get that at Walgreens. It was now time to make my way to the checkout. I had to do this slowly, lest my overburdened cart spew my thrifty purchases. All those "bargains" add up under the harsh truth at the checkout counter. I was lucky this time. I made it out at just under $350. Seriously. I considered this quite an accomplishment. Especially since I only went there for contact solution. Which I forgot. I guess I’ll be headed back to the Costco later this week.

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Name: Cattiva
Location: Virginia, United States

About Me: I'm the mom of three: #1 Son (20), The Princess of Wails (17) and their baby brother - The Baby (6). I was a grad-student working on an MA in history until we were surprised - I mean blessed - with The Baby. I'll get back to it...someday (the thesis, not the kid - I have no choice concerning the kid). I am one of only a few people I went to school with who is actually using their history degree in my career (and to think my Father called it Basket-weaving!). I live a very hectic life amongst massive clutter. I call it a good day if we have managed to get home at night without losing one of the kids (no matter how hard I try!). Friends say I have a humorous take on life's happenings. The sad part is that what I write about is true. I laugh to keep from crying.

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