Wednesday, August 18, 2004

They Were Going to End Up In Therapy Anyway

My kids are too old to fool. They grow up so fast. The Little One loves Cinnamon Toast Crunch Cereal. To be more technically correct, she loves any cereal with a month's supply of sugar in every bowl. The other day I got all excited in the grocery store when I saw a box of CTC that proclaimed it contained 75% LESS Sugar! Why in the name of all that is Holy would they print that on the box in big huge letters?!? You guessed it. She won't eat it. I tried it and the stupid stuff tastes just like the original. She'd have never known if the sadistic company hadn't plastered the lack of sugar all over the box. If it was fine print meant for a parent's eyes only, you can bet she'd have eaten the whole box in 2 days like usual and never been the wiser.

There was a time when they bought everything I said. When they were little I convinced them that raisins were candy and they ate them by the handful. I couldn't keep the withered little grapes in the house. Then they went to daycare and discovered that the “other candy” tasted better and the raisins have become a solid mass in the box ever since. Don't let me get into why we still have that last box and have moved with it twice. That's a topic for another post. They also thought those little rice cakes were cookies. Fat chance of keeping up with that charade either. Damned daycare. It was sort of like the Garden of Eden after that. One bite of the apple and they were off to the land of knowledge fueled by a major sugar buzz.

The longest deception concerned dark chocolate. I LOVE dark chocolate, and I can get especially passionate about Dove dark chocolate. I used to hide it from them in the freezer. When they were really little it worked well because they couldn't reach the freezer and thus my stash went undetected. The day finally came when #1 Son could reach and, of course, he innocently asked me what was in the package with his little sister standing next to him batting her eyelashes and looking up at me expectantly. I did what any self respecting dark chocoholic good mother would do. I snatched the bag out of their chubby hands and snapped “Don't touch that! You’re allergic!” That one actually worked for a couple of years believe it or not. Finally one day I was snatching a bag back from them accompanied with the usual allergic speech; how they’d get red blotches, blow up like balloons and their throats would close up, etc. Lots of drama in that speech. #1 Son looked at me sagely and said “Mom, you know we're not allergic. You just don't want us to eat it.”



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Name: Cattiva
Location: Virginia, United States

About Me: I'm the mom of three: #1 Son (20), The Princess of Wails (17) and their baby brother - The Baby (6). I was a grad-student working on an MA in history until we were surprised - I mean blessed - with The Baby. I'll get back to it...someday (the thesis, not the kid - I have no choice concerning the kid). I am one of only a few people I went to school with who is actually using their history degree in my career (and to think my Father called it Basket-weaving!). I live a very hectic life amongst massive clutter. I call it a good day if we have managed to get home at night without losing one of the kids (no matter how hard I try!). Friends say I have a humorous take on life's happenings. The sad part is that what I write about is true. I laugh to keep from crying.

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