So Hubby's beloved Macbook Pro has been suffering from the dreaded "green screen of death." Being a PC gal myself, I *THINK* that's the same as the infamous "blue screen of death," but who cares? It all equals the same thing - I haven't been online in a few days to update my Facebook status (the horror). Hubby got the desktop up and running, so I sat down tonight ready to go. But then I realized something....FB users generally have the attention span of a gnat. Status updates are the equivalent of old-school Henny Youngman type comedian's one-liners. Who ever clicks "read more" anyway? I rarely do. But since we all know I crack myself up, I came here instead. No one reads this blog anymore, but that's OK. *I* can go back and read it, and since I laugh to keep from crying (no seriously, I do), re-reading this someday just MIGHT make me look back on this week of hell fondly. But I doubt it....
So here, in no particular order, are my "Wannna-be/Should have been" FB status updates from the last several days:
1) Why is it that when you have been given several gift cards to Lowes, the only items you need are at Home Depot?
2) Dear 500 pound woman riding the handicapped cart around Walmart - Steer away from the Twinkies, Little Debbies, bags of M&M's, jumbo bags of cheese puffs and family-size BBQ chips that are filling your basket! Seriously, would a fruit or vegetable really hurt you?
3) So you grab the "easy to install" shelving unit in Home Depot and the installation instructions say "additional hardware needed for hollow door installation" and yet it doesn't specify WHAT additional hardware is actually NEEDED?? I'll tell you what I need...more wine.
4) I have an issue with spices - I have too many of them. So shoot me, I love to cook. There is no need to point out that I haven't used several said spices since 2010 just because you saw the purchase dates that I dutifully mark them with. Luckily, they have the spice racks/shelves that fit our cabinets at Walmart!
5) My Hubby texted me this afternoon to tell me that I really need to go back to work. Apparently I can't stay out of Home Depot and Walmart and am straining our budget. Seriously?