Monday, October 18, 2004

Mad Cows

The Build-a-Bear store is one of The Little One's favorite places. If you don't have one of these, let me explain. Kids can go there and create their own stuffed animal. They get to print up a "birth certificate" for their new baby. Then, and this is where they get you, the kid picks out an outfit for their new creation. You see, these stores have outfits for every occasion, every profession, every game, etc. There are pajamas and robes, foul weather gear, even shoes and slippers. There is no end to the outfits that you can purchase, not inexpensively either, for your stuffed animal.

Over the last year or so, The Little One has built 2 cows. She calls them "The Moos," as in Mr. & Mrs. Moo. The Moos are a rather active couple. They were married in a ceremony (and expensive wedding dress and tux) complete with a marriage certificate created by The Little One. The Moos are also soccer players and of course soccer players must have a uniform (little Moo cleats are not cheap). They have a red union suit for pajamas. Casual clothes consist of jean shorts and baseball t-shirts (mini sketchers tennis shoes aren't free either). We have a Moo size soccer net and soccer ball, a Moo size skateboard and Moo furniture. I don't think I will offend him when I tell you Mr. Moo prefers boxers to briefs. Now let me stop for a minute to let you know that it is not C. and I alone that purchase these things. Other family members encourage her with gift certificates. The Little One will spend her own money on the Moos as well. She's always on the look out for anything she can use in "Moo world." Her birthday money was spent last week on Halloween costumes. Mrs. Moo is a witch, while Mr. Moo is a devil.

A few months ago Mr. Moo started appearing in a basket, his head wrapped in an ace bandage, covered in band-aids and his leg in traction. Obviously something terrible had happened. I asked The Little One what the deal was and she informed me that Mr. Moo had been struck down with Mad Cow Disease. Mr. Moo passed away, plunging Mrs. Moo into mourning. Luckily, though, I was able to give Mr. Moo CPR and bring him back to life. Good thing, as I can't imagine how expensive a black funeral dress and a proper burial suit might be.

Further heroic medical efforts are no longer required of me. This weekend The Little One went to the birthday party of a friend that was held at - you guessed it - Build-a-Bear. She came home with a bear this time, dressed in a doctor's coat and carrying his own stethoscope. His name is Dr. Snuggles and he has been charged with maintaining the health of the Moos. You can't beat a live in doctor if you're prone to Mad Cow I suppose. The Little One is not, however, taking any chances. This weekend she drew up the last will and testament of Mr. Moo. What follows is the document in its entirety (spelled as it appears, I'll try and translate the more creative spellings):

If I die, I want to be bared (buried) not cremated. And if I'm on mashens (machines) don't keep me on them. I want to die natraly. All my belongings to Mrs. Moo. If shes deid I want them to go to my mom The Little One (her complete name is spelled out). And ill be in a better plase. I'll always love Mrs. Moo. And tell my doctor he was the most greatest and best doctor I ever had. And can you please tell him that. Tell him I would tell him persenoly (personally) but of cours I can't...

(Signed) Mr. Moo
I'll always love Mrs. Moo.

Perhaps The Little One watches too much television.


Blogger mrs moo said...

so good to find more of our extended family! my name is mrs moo and my partner is mr moo we live in a little house in reading england and have adopted 2 meows one black and white (like moos) one ginger and white. turns out they are very good pets for moo's. we love going for long walks in the country and meeting other moo's and going to nice places for lunch- all moo's like lunch! we have just started a website showing our adventures. we've been to a zoo - but no moo's!! we did complain! however the power and love of moo continues good luck to your mr and mrs moo - good to find a relation - love mr and mrs moo - ( leonie moo & miguel moo).

9:19 PM  

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Name: Cattiva
Location: Virginia, United States

About Me: I'm the mom of three: #1 Son (20), The Princess of Wails (17) and their baby brother - The Baby (6). I was a grad-student working on an MA in history until we were surprised - I mean blessed - with The Baby. I'll get back to it...someday (the thesis, not the kid - I have no choice concerning the kid). I am one of only a few people I went to school with who is actually using their history degree in my career (and to think my Father called it Basket-weaving!). I live a very hectic life amongst massive clutter. I call it a good day if we have managed to get home at night without losing one of the kids (no matter how hard I try!). Friends say I have a humorous take on life's happenings. The sad part is that what I write about is true. I laugh to keep from crying.

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