Kryptonite

As we were walking through the mall the other night, Hubby stops, turns to me and says, "You DO realize that shoes are your kryptonite, right?"

I have no idea what he's talking about, but they're having a killer sale at Nine West!!

Stale Status Updates

So Hubby's beloved Macbook Pro has been suffering from the dreaded "green screen of death."  Being a PC gal myself, I *THINK* that's the same as the infamous "blue screen of death," but who cares?  It all equals the same thing - I haven't been online in a few days to update my Facebook status (the horror).  Hubby got the desktop up and running, so I sat down tonight ready to go.  But then I realized something....FB users generally have the attention span of a gnat.  Status updates are the equivalent of old-school Henny Youngman type comedian's one-liners.  Who ever clicks "read more" anyway?  I rarely do.  But since we all know I crack myself up, I came here instead.  No one reads this blog anymore, but that's OK.  *I* can go back and read it, and since I laugh to keep from crying (no seriously, I do), re-reading this someday just MIGHT make me look back on this week of hell fondly.  But I doubt it....

So here, in no particular order, are my "Wannna-be/Should have been" FB status updates from the last several days:

1) Why is it that when you have been given several gift cards to Lowes, the only items you need are at Home Depot?

2) Dear 500 pound woman riding the handicapped cart around Walmart - Steer away from the Twinkies, Little Debbies, bags of M&M's, jumbo bags of cheese puffs and family-size BBQ chips that are filling your basket!  Seriously, would a fruit or vegetable really hurt you?

3) So you grab the "easy to install" shelving unit in Home Depot and the installation instructions say "additional hardware needed for hollow door installation" and yet it doesn't specify WHAT additional hardware is actually NEEDED??  I'll tell you what I need...more wine.

4) I have an issue with spices - I have too many of them.  So shoot me, I love to cook.  There is no need to point out that I haven't used several said spices since 2010 just because you saw the purchase dates that I dutifully mark them with.  Luckily, they have the spice racks/shelves that fit our cabinets at Walmart!

5) My Hubby texted me this afternoon to tell me that I really need to go back to work.  Apparently I can't stay out of Home Depot and Walmart and am straining our budget.  Seriously?

Putting Our House on the Market By the Numbers

1 Dog has become incontinent (requiring medication) and another has decided to start marking her territory by peeing in my craft room.  Yes, I said HER.

2 Dogs are blowing their coats - the tufts of hair are rolling across the hardwood floors like tumbleweeds

3 ceilings need painting

4 Living Social deals for House Cleaning....none of them are for companies in our area

5 days a week we work to afford all of this and are too tired to work on the house

6 people in our family, but 3 have moved out to go to college.  So why didn't they take all their crap?

7 texts received from our realtor asking if we are ready to take pictures for the listing

8 times we have asked the kid across the street to finish cutting our back yard

9 boxes of clothes marked "too small, may wear again" that need to go to the garage (really, some day I will lose the baby weight - he's only 8)

10 glasses of wine I will have consumed before Wednesday


You do the math

So tonight, thanks to Nanner Peach, I found Trashman on Facebook.  It makes me want to write again. I SO missed all the fun we used to have.  Lord knows the kids have given me so MUCH material.

So at dinner tonight, the oldest daughter (the artist formally known as "The Little One") asks us to PLEASE, never, EVER buy Oreos again because she has no willpower and 2 Oreos are 140 calories. All I kept thinking was, "Who the hell bought Oreos and how the hell did I miss them??"

Spull Spelin Spelling Test

As you may have read, The Baby is in kindergarten...again. In all fairness to him, it was a birthday thing. He turned 5 last year on the first day of school, while all his classmates were turning 6 during the year. Boys being slower to mature (sometimes they never do), we held him back another year. It's turned out to be a good decision.

My friends, Kindergarten now is nothing like when we were there. Gone are the days of coloring and naps. Now they actually learn Math, Reading, Writing, etc. On Friday The Baby brought home a spelling test - he got a 100%. I was so proud of him that I posted it up on the fridge right next to the one and only note he's ever gotten for good behavior (the reams of notes for bad behavior are in file 13 *sigh*).

Our conversation this morning:

Me - Dude, I am SO proud of you for that awesome spelling test!

Him - It was no big deal.

Me - Are you kidding? You got them all right!

Him - Well she gave us the answers.

Me - Huh? She gave you the answers?

Him - Yeah. She told us what words to write.

.....

Yeah, it took me a minute, too.

Clearing The Cobwebs

No this is not a post about housework. I know you are disappointed. I would be too, as housework is one of my favorite things. *cough cough*

Instead this is a "catch up" post of sorts. I have often thought of writing here again, but then that stupid Facebook would get in the way. Really, it's so much easier to dash off a quick "one-liner" in my status, then stalk catch up with friends before heading off to my games. Ah yes, the games. A friend pointed out that the games on Facebook require no skill at all and consist of just clicking on things. Whatever. For the record, "Debbie Downer" has been an addict of Farmville for over a year now, while *I* gave it up for lent. Of course I have moved on to other games, but I digress...

Here's a quick run-down for anyone keeping score:

#1 Son is now a sophomore in college.

The Princess is a junior in HS and has her driver's license. You have been warned.

The Baby is in his second year of Kindergarten. We're beyond proud.

C. & I are in the middle of a divorce. Don't cry for me Argentina. It was a long time coming, and we're OK with it and getting on with our lives.

Me? I've gotten a real job changed careers.

Should be lots of fodder for future posts. Right now though, I need to go. My virtual food should be ready to serve in Cafe World.

Lasagna For My Friend (Redux)

Personally, I think I make *THE* best homemade lasagna on the planet. I'm not making that statement lightly. It takes me an entire day to assemble this thing and every component is made from scratch. I don't lay the eggs of course, but you know what I mean. The sauce itself is to DIE for.

I think I love this dish SO much because my mother made it when I was a kid. She got the recipe from one of the relatives - my Grandmother? An Aunt? I can't remember, but *OH* do I remember Mom making it.

In my house as a kid, on the actual day of your Birthday, you got to choose the dinner menu - anything goes! I carry on this tradition today. It never ceases to be interesting. I remember #1’s choice one year when he was about 6. It was the ever popular "Stuffed Pepper Filling Without The Yucky Pepper Part." The Princess regularly chooses Pasghetti With Macaroni & Cheese.

When I was a kid though, the BIGGEST treat that I could imagine was when my Mom made lasagna. I chose it as my birthday dinner EVERY single year. Maybe it was so exciting because Mom had to make it the day before and it was a two day affair? Maybe it was because she only made it once a year? I'm not sure, but this lasagna became not just a meal for me, it became an "event!"

It's probably no surprise then, that if I really want to impress a dinner guest, if I really want to send the message that you're a part of our family (God help you), lasagna it is. It was the first "major meal" that I cooked for C. when we were dating, and to his credit he was smart enough to say it was better than his Mom's lasagna. #1 now requests it annually. Ah tradition.

Somewhere over the years Coach became a member of our family. So much so that without thought, I pulled out the old lasagna recipe for his last birthday, because hey - that's what he chose. Coach is like my little brother - you know the one, the "Dennis the Menace" that you have to keep out of trouble? Yup...that's him. He's beyond a role model to my children. He actually gets C.’s humor - which believe me, is a gift. Coach is my friend. He has become my sounding block. He's even my voice of reason sometimes (and if you know either of us at all, that should probably scare you).

Last night our family gathered around the old lasagna pan again…because it’s what we do. Because I suppose that in our family, lasagna means we love you.

Godspeed Coach.

Lots Of Work

Crap.

Here's my list of "things to do:"

1) Clean up all the dead links (makes me a little sad).

2) Get rid of the old Haloscan code for commenting (since I'm not going to be forced to pay for this new Echo thing - Blogger comments work fine now - they didn't when I went with Haloscan all those years ago).

3) See 1 & 2 above - that means trying to figure out the logins & passwords I used for my Blog "extras" like counters, "usage graphs," comments, etc. This could get ugly...or at the very least, painful.

4) ...well I've forgotten what 4 is already. I'm distracted by the fact that it's probably time to harvest my crops. What do you want from me?

Maybe I DO Have More To Say?

So I find myself wanting to explain my Facebook statuses in greater detail lately. Perhaps I really do have more to say and should rev this thing up again.