Thursday, June 14, 2007

School? We Don't Need No Stinkin' School!

Can someone please tell me why I sent my kids to school these last two weeks?

Honestly, it is a major pain in the butt to get them out of bed, dressed, throw a bagel in front of them and shove them out the door - only to have to drive them to their respective educational institutions. This is especially true when they have been up WAY past bedtime (unbeknownst to their exhausted parents) in anticipation of their summer break. Why sleep when you know you won't have to actually DO ANYTHING the next day, especially when you can be watching the television (with no sound, lest said parents bust you) or playing on your computer?

This past week was the worst. #1 Son (a Freshman in High School) actually attended school for a combined total of three quarters of a day this week. He was out by 9am on Monday and 11:30am on Tuesday. He didn't even have to show up the last two days (Wednesday and Thursday). It was final exam week, but it seems that teachers don't really like to grade exams anymore. #1 Son's teachers came up with many creative ways to get out of grading finals. A few of them allowed an exemption if you had an "A" in the class. Apparently that standard was a bit high for another of his teachers who declared everyone with an "A" or a "B" exempt. One teacher decided to skip the exam altogether and just count their SOL scores as an exam grade (in VA we have Standards Of Learning tests - SOLs. They really stink, but that is a rant for another day). It worked out that out of 8 classes, #1 Son only had to take 3 "exams." I put that word in quotes because "exam" is a very loose way of describing these "tests."

The final exam in his Tech Draw class consisted of him running a Power Point presentation that he had created in class 3 weeks ago, while reading the captions out loud. His Honors English exam covered only of the parts of the Shakespeare play "Julius Ceasar" that they had actually read together in class. That would be Act I. Oh, and it was open book and open notebook. For his Honors World History class I saw him working on some "project" the night before. It looked like he was using The Baby's crayons. He got a 98.

Where were these teachers when I was in school?!?!

The Princess had it even easier. She spent the last two weeks watching movies. Seriously. Her teachers have screened Holes, The Cat in the Hat (the Hollywood version), Finding Nemo, Akila and the Bee (at least that had SOMETHING to do with scholastics), Napoleon Dynamite and Happy Feet (TWICE!). And this was while getting out of school HALF DAY. Thursday, the last official day of school for our school district, they were out by 10:00am (the first bell rings at 8:05).

The kicker is that for the last TWO WEEKS, neither the High School nor the Middle School (where The Princess attends) took roll!!! They didn't even HAVE to show up.

So please, my friends, tell me WHY I even bothered to send them to school!

Oh wait. I know why.

If I hadn't sent them...they would have been home. Here. With me and each other. Probably fighting tooth and nail.

Happy Start of the Summer Vacation, my friends! I only hope we can survive another cursed break and make it to the fall!


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Name: Cattiva
Location: Virginia, United States

About Me: I'm the mom of three: #1 Son (20), The Princess of Wails (17) and their baby brother - The Baby (6). I was a grad-student working on an MA in history until we were surprised - I mean blessed - with The Baby. I'll get back to it...someday (the thesis, not the kid - I have no choice concerning the kid). I am one of only a few people I went to school with who is actually using their history degree in my career (and to think my Father called it Basket-weaving!). I live a very hectic life amongst massive clutter. I call it a good day if we have managed to get home at night without losing one of the kids (no matter how hard I try!). Friends say I have a humorous take on life's happenings. The sad part is that what I write about is true. I laugh to keep from crying.

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