Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Live and Learn

Things I learned this weekend:

A brand new roof makes the rest of the house and yard look like crap.

A demonic force possesses mulberry trees. If you cut one down and fail to remove the stump, it grows back with a vengeance.

Mulberry trees can grow over four feet in 3 months when they think they've been "pruned."

Mulberry stumps are almost impossible to dig out of the ground.

Children are motivated by money. I knew this one already, but it is amazing the amount of yard work they will do when one dangles the financial carrot in front of their noses.

Ivy is evil. Whoever thought it would be "pretty" and planted it in my neighborhood 100 years ago needs to be strangled with the stuff. Assuming they are still alive.

I am too out of shape to spend an entire weekend pulling out ivy.

Old aluminum gutters fetch a pretty penny at the recycling center.

Transporting old aluminum gutters is a logistical nightmare.

No matter how good your host says the Box 'O Wine and the Jug 'O Wine are, you will suffer a massive headache in the morning.

Mixing Box 'O Wine and Jug 'O Wine is insanely stupid.

Box 'O Wine and Jug 'O Wine should never be followed by Woodchuck Cider. The results are not pretty.

Laundry breeds. This is not a new one on me, but I was reminded of it again this weekend.

We own more clothes than we could possibly wear in a month, much less a week.

Finding folded clean clothes mixed into the dirty clothes pile makes me homicidal.

It is virtually impossible to explain the Cold War to children in the 5 or 10 minutes before you watch the movie "Red Dawn."

Pausing a movie every few minutes to explain it to children makes the movie run much longer than planned.

Children are incredibly cranky when they have not gotten the amount of sleep they are used to.

Cranky children make me crabby.

You cannot reason with a tired child. This one I knew, too. Unfortunately I am an optimist who continues to try.

I have the greatest in-laws in the world. They will bail us out of a near tragedy that was created by our own stupidity without a lecture or so much as an "I told you so."


Post a Comment

<< Home

Name: Cattiva
Location: Virginia, United States

About Me: I'm the mom of three: #1 Son (20), The Princess of Wails (17) and their baby brother - The Baby (6). I was a grad-student working on an MA in history until we were surprised - I mean blessed - with The Baby. I'll get back to it...someday (the thesis, not the kid - I have no choice concerning the kid). I am one of only a few people I went to school with who is actually using their history degree in my career (and to think my Father called it Basket-weaving!). I live a very hectic life amongst massive clutter. I call it a good day if we have managed to get home at night without losing one of the kids (no matter how hard I try!). Friends say I have a humorous take on life's happenings. The sad part is that what I write about is true. I laugh to keep from crying.

See my complete profile

Best of Blogs 


 Subscribe in a reader

This Day in History

eXTReMe Tracker