Live and Learn
Things I learned this weekend:
A brand new roof makes the rest of the house and yard look like crap.
A demonic force possesses mulberry trees. If you cut one down and fail to remove the stump, it grows back with a vengeance.
Mulberry trees can grow over four feet in 3 months when they think they've been "pruned."
Mulberry stumps are almost impossible to dig out of the ground.
Children are motivated by money. I knew this one already, but it is amazing the amount of yard work they will do when one dangles the financial carrot in front of their noses.
Ivy is evil. Whoever thought it would be "pretty" and planted it in my neighborhood 100 years ago needs to be strangled with the stuff. Assuming they are still alive.
I am too out of shape to spend an entire weekend pulling out ivy.
Old aluminum gutters fetch a pretty penny at the recycling center.
Transporting old aluminum gutters is a logistical nightmare.
No matter how good your host says the Box 'O Wine and the Jug 'O Wine are, you will suffer a massive headache in the morning.
Mixing Box 'O Wine and Jug 'O Wine is insanely stupid.
Box 'O Wine and Jug 'O Wine should never be followed by Woodchuck Cider. The results are not pretty.
Laundry breeds. This is not a new one on me, but I was reminded of it again this weekend.
We own more clothes than we could possibly wear in a month, much less a week.
Finding folded clean clothes mixed into the dirty clothes pile makes me homicidal.
It is virtually impossible to explain the Cold War to children in the 5 or 10 minutes before you watch the movie "Red Dawn."
Pausing a movie every few minutes to explain it to children makes the movie run much longer than planned.
Children are incredibly cranky when they have not gotten the amount of sleep they are used to.
Cranky children make me crabby.
You cannot reason with a tired child. This one I knew, too. Unfortunately I am an optimist who continues to try.
I have the greatest in-laws in the world. They will bail us out of a near tragedy that was created by our own stupidity without a lecture or so much as an "I told you so."
A brand new roof makes the rest of the house and yard look like crap.
A demonic force possesses mulberry trees. If you cut one down and fail to remove the stump, it grows back with a vengeance.
Mulberry trees can grow over four feet in 3 months when they think they've been "pruned."
Mulberry stumps are almost impossible to dig out of the ground.
Children are motivated by money. I knew this one already, but it is amazing the amount of yard work they will do when one dangles the financial carrot in front of their noses.
Ivy is evil. Whoever thought it would be "pretty" and planted it in my neighborhood 100 years ago needs to be strangled with the stuff. Assuming they are still alive.
I am too out of shape to spend an entire weekend pulling out ivy.
Old aluminum gutters fetch a pretty penny at the recycling center.
Transporting old aluminum gutters is a logistical nightmare.
No matter how good your host says the Box 'O Wine and the Jug 'O Wine are, you will suffer a massive headache in the morning.
Mixing Box 'O Wine and Jug 'O Wine is insanely stupid.
Box 'O Wine and Jug 'O Wine should never be followed by Woodchuck Cider. The results are not pretty.
Laundry breeds. This is not a new one on me, but I was reminded of it again this weekend.
We own more clothes than we could possibly wear in a month, much less a week.
Finding folded clean clothes mixed into the dirty clothes pile makes me homicidal.
It is virtually impossible to explain the Cold War to children in the 5 or 10 minutes before you watch the movie "Red Dawn."
Pausing a movie every few minutes to explain it to children makes the movie run much longer than planned.
Children are incredibly cranky when they have not gotten the amount of sleep they are used to.
Cranky children make me crabby.
You cannot reason with a tired child. This one I knew, too. Unfortunately I am an optimist who continues to try.
I have the greatest in-laws in the world. They will bail us out of a near tragedy that was created by our own stupidity without a lecture or so much as an "I told you so."
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