Saturday, March 19, 2005

Seen and Heard in the ER

As if we have not spent enough time in the emergency room and doctor's offices lately, The Little One and I spent our morning and a chunk of our afternoon yesterday in the soap opera that is the ER. This stunt involved her forehead and a dresser drawer. After a call to her Pediatrician, we were sent to the nearest hospital as it was a head injury, it bled quite a bit and she was acting sleepy. Since it was her face, they opted for something called Dermabond (a surgical super glue) instead of stitches. To think, this is my coordinated kid. It must be a growth spurt.

Sitting for several hours in the emergency waiting room makes for excellent people watching. Keep in mind, as I was repeatedly reminded, that the wait in the emergency room is generally because of all the people who show up there WITHOUT an emergency. My friends, I give you my three favorite "ER Moms."

Bored Single Mom - This 20-ish woman was in the ER with her son who looked like he was about 2 or 3-years-old. The kid apparently woke up that morning with a fever of 101 degrees, so she thought she should rush him to the hospital. Please lady, my kids have to be pushing 102 for me to break out the Motrin. You would think a simple call to the Pediatrician would have saved her a whole heck of a lot of time. Instead, the rest of us in the waiting room were treated to the "Hyper Kid with Personality" show. This kid danced. He ran around and sang. He played peek-a-boo with a guy who had come in by ambulance. At one point he was diving from one chair to another. His Mom only threatened to "beat his ass" 72 times in the two hours we got to sit near them.

Mom Looking for a Day Off Work - We learned a lot about this lovely young "lady." That was because she was loud and liked to talk. She arrived, signed in and began by asking everyone "what's wrong with you?" Positively charming. It seems her 10 or 11-year-old-kid has "had chest pains since December" and she had finally decided it was time to "get to the bottom of it." Couple her "concern" with the fact that she "didn't feel like going to work" and there they were. She said she picked the particular hospital because she figured it would have the longest wait and besides, "she didn't feel like going to work." She thought about taking her son to Hospital X, but decided it was too close to work and she might end up getting out of there too quickly and she "didn't feel like going to work." Did I mention that she "didn't feel like going to work?" She did, about 5 times. And the kid with the chest pains? He drank 3 cups of hot chocolate and did karate moves for an hour.

Angry Mom - This young woman came in with her 10-month-old daughter. I have no idea where she left her 2 and 3-year old children she told everyone about. She was pretty sure the child had "another ear infection," as she seems to get them "all the time." Angry Mom was rather irate when she learned that Bored Single Mom had been sitting there for over an hour without seeing the triage nurse yet. In fact, she let us all know that "usually" she is in and out of that ER in about an hour. After a half an hour, her kid began to cry. I would have too, had I still been bundled up like I was outside in the cold. I guess she was too busy complaining to notice. The more the kid cried, the louder and more irate her mother became. She was yelling things like "cry louder Baby, maybe they'll finally see you" and "if an infant is crying they are obviously in pain and should go to the front of the line." Never mind the two people that had been brought in by ambulance from a car wreck. She finally barged her way into the triage nurse so her child could be seen and promptly, and very loudly, cursed the nurse out. She then came out and demanded everyone's name and screamed that she was going to file a complaint. The last time I saw her, a poor hospital official in a suit was taking her to file her complaint as she was yelling, "who does she think she is telling me this is not a life threatening emergency? My kid was CRYING!"

My friends, I am having a difficult time trying to choose my candidate for "Mother of the Year."


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Name: Cattiva
Location: Virginia, United States

About Me: I'm the mom of three: #1 Son (20), The Princess of Wails (17) and their baby brother - The Baby (6). I was a grad-student working on an MA in history until we were surprised - I mean blessed - with The Baby. I'll get back to it...someday (the thesis, not the kid - I have no choice concerning the kid). I am one of only a few people I went to school with who is actually using their history degree in my career (and to think my Father called it Basket-weaving!). I live a very hectic life amongst massive clutter. I call it a good day if we have managed to get home at night without losing one of the kids (no matter how hard I try!). Friends say I have a humorous take on life's happenings. The sad part is that what I write about is true. I laugh to keep from crying.

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