Rainy Days and Mondays
Babies who wake up screaming at 4:00am are a harbinger of the rest of your day.
Said babies are far more cranky than usual.
The mother of a cranky baby gets incredibly crabby herself.
Dogs with small bladders and even smaller brains are afraid of the rain.
Dogs who are afraid of the rain will attempt to hold it for approximately 1 hour and 47 minutes.
The pouring rain will last for 1 hour and 53 minutes. You do the math. Be sure to factor in the only carpet in the entire house. Which was just cleaned.
The number of times your over-excitable soccer Mom friend will call you in the morning (every half an hour until you answer the phone) is exponential to the number of hours of sleep you lost the previous night.
Multiply that number by 2 if the baby is finally napping with you.
Multiply that number again by 2 if your daughter has left her telephone handset with the incredibly obnoxious ring in your room.
It is a safe bet that when you resemble a sleep deprived zombie with the corresponding attention span of a gnat, you will not get a shower.
Children who waltz in from school with all the subtlety of a Mardi-Gras parade, thus waking the baby you have been desperately trying to get to take an afternoon nap and announce, "what's your problem?" risk imminent death.
So...how was your day?
Said babies are far more cranky than usual.
The mother of a cranky baby gets incredibly crabby herself.
Dogs with small bladders and even smaller brains are afraid of the rain.
Dogs who are afraid of the rain will attempt to hold it for approximately 1 hour and 47 minutes.
The pouring rain will last for 1 hour and 53 minutes. You do the math. Be sure to factor in the only carpet in the entire house. Which was just cleaned.
The number of times your over-excitable soccer Mom friend will call you in the morning (every half an hour until you answer the phone) is exponential to the number of hours of sleep you lost the previous night.
Multiply that number by 2 if the baby is finally napping with you.
Multiply that number again by 2 if your daughter has left her telephone handset with the incredibly obnoxious ring in your room.
It is a safe bet that when you resemble a sleep deprived zombie with the corresponding attention span of a gnat, you will not get a shower.
Children who waltz in from school with all the subtlety of a Mardi-Gras parade, thus waking the baby you have been desperately trying to get to take an afternoon nap and announce, "what's your problem?" risk imminent death.
So...how was your day?
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home