Sunday, June 08, 2008

Under Attack

There is a vulture in my house.

I saw it.

It dove at me.

I was speechless for about 4 seconds. That coupled with my "look of terror," hyperventilating and frantic pointing finally clued C. in that something was wrong.

You bet your a$$.

We were under attack.

C. says he hates flying things too, and then asked me where it came from. Holy Mother of God, how the hell should *I* know?!?! Does he actually think I invited it into our house?

After several minutes of searching, C. told me to calm down, that my "hysterics" might wake the kids. He tried to convince me that it was "probably just a little water bug." Yeah. And I'm the friggin Queen of England.

It is at least 6 inches long.

No, I'm not exaggerating.

I crept back down the stairs a few minutes ago to ask my hero, "Have you hunted it down and beat it to death yet?"

He chuckled and said, "I haven't heard any fluttering."

He hates me.

I think he's trying to kill me.


Blogger Doophy said...

Hope you got the bird out of your house. This past winter, I was constantly worried that I would find a pigeon in my place one day. I usually leave the back door open b/c the building is so warm. I had a terrifying vision of coming home to an apartment covered in pigeon poo. Or possibly a pigeon orgy - it's not uncommon for them to get their swerve on on my balcony!

12:57 PM  

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Name: Cattiva
Location: Virginia, United States

About Me: I'm the mom of three: #1 Son (20), The Princess of Wails (17) and their baby brother - The Baby (6). I was a grad-student working on an MA in history until we were surprised - I mean blessed - with The Baby. I'll get back to it...someday (the thesis, not the kid - I have no choice concerning the kid). I am one of only a few people I went to school with who is actually using their history degree in my career (and to think my Father called it Basket-weaving!). I live a very hectic life amongst massive clutter. I call it a good day if we have managed to get home at night without losing one of the kids (no matter how hard I try!). Friends say I have a humorous take on life's happenings. The sad part is that what I write about is true. I laugh to keep from crying.

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