Thursday, July 12, 2007

The Pot and the Kettle

(I received a comment on a recent post from a fellow Mom, Jen ,that reminded me of an incident from #1 Son's childhood. I thank her for bringing an obviously repressed memory to the surface. )

As a "pre-kid" person, I was a card carrying member of the "MY-CHILD-WILL-NEVER-ACT-LIKE-THAT" club. I just knew that I would be a sensitive, fun, nurturing disciplinarian. My precious children would NEVER disrupt fellow diners or moviegoers. They would NEVER run screaming through clothing racks at retail stores, as if their hair was on fire. They would NEVER reach out to touch someone with sticky, icky hands. I would be the kind of parent that could effortlessly take her children ANYWHERE in public and have said public gush over what well behaved and adorable children I had given birth to.


I really thought like that once.

It was deep into the holiday shopping season late one afternoon when #1 Son (a toddler around the age of 20 months) and I found ourselves at the local Navy Exchange (the ex was military). It was stiflingly hot in the store/makeshift mall. The crowds were enormous and did nothing for my claustrophobia. #1 Son had missed his nap, was hungry and we were in a hurry to get home - a sure recipe for disaster.

The battle began over a size 2T coat. While it was cold outside, #1 Son could not have cared less. He was cranky and determined that I, his rotten Mommy, was NOT going to get that fargin' coat on him. The kid was like a crazed octopus on a crack binge.

Ignoring his kicking and screaming at the top of his lungs, I wrestled him to the ground. It took several minutes of stealth maneuvers and chanting the mantra, "KNOCK IT OFF" before I looked up...

...and saw them standing there with their mouths dropped open and their eyeballs all bugged out. This young couple were stopped in their tracks not more than 10 feet away from me and my little boy who was in the middle of a full meltdown. I made eye contact with the obviously pregnant woman and the look on her face changed from astonished surprise to condemnation. She never said it out loud, but I heard it clearly, "MY child will NEVER act like THAT!"

I did what any self respecting mother would do. I yelled, "OH YEAH?! Well that's what I used to think, too!" I then scooped up the screaming kid, wrapped the offending coat around his upper body and stormed out into the cold parking lot.


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Name: Cattiva
Location: Virginia, United States

About Me: I'm the mom of three: #1 Son (20), The Princess of Wails (17) and their baby brother - The Baby (6). I was a grad-student working on an MA in history until we were surprised - I mean blessed - with The Baby. I'll get back to it...someday (the thesis, not the kid - I have no choice concerning the kid). I am one of only a few people I went to school with who is actually using their history degree in my career (and to think my Father called it Basket-weaving!). I live a very hectic life amongst massive clutter. I call it a good day if we have managed to get home at night without losing one of the kids (no matter how hard I try!). Friends say I have a humorous take on life's happenings. The sad part is that what I write about is true. I laugh to keep from crying.

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