Thursday, October 21, 2004

Is the 4th the Styrophoam Anniversary?

I ask that question because #1 Son asked me that today and I honestly don't have a clue. Today C. and I celebrated our 4th Anniversary. After dating for three years he apparently smoked a little too much crack and asked me to marry him. Joke's on him, huh? I was going to write and tell you how wonderful he is as a person, but he's got a birthday coming up so I'll save that for later. Instead, I'll tell you why our marriage works.

First, we have never had a fight. Honestly. Don't get me wrong. We discuss, and we have disagreements. But we don't go toe to toe. This is refreshing for me as the ex and I used to have knockdown drag outs on a very regular basis. Nothing physical, just lots of screaming fights. It's nice to actually WANT to be home and not have to walk on eggshells.

We have this great "good cop, bad cop" routine that works in all kinds of situations. For instance it works well when stupid things happen like our homeowner's insurance gets cancelled for non-payment because the insurance company never sent the bill to the mortgage company like they're supposed to. It also works when we're overcharged for services; we're negotiating the price of something, etc. Good cop handles stuff and when necessary my bad cop kicks in and makes stupid people sorry they tangled with us.

C. puts up with my type AAA personality. I function on a high level of stress coupled with a bit of frenzy. I function "up here" while he is steady "down here." I am sure I spice up his life (to put it nicely), while he grounds me.

There are two days out of every month that C. avoids me. I don't have to say anything. He just knows.

He is my best friend. We can talk about any and everything.

We have the same tastes in most everything, but we have enough differences to keep things interesting. We like a lot of the same music, but his tastes are far more eclectic than mine. Because of this I have learned to love bands and cds I have never heard of before. Sometimes this can be a bad thing. 10,000 Maniacs are all right, just not non-stop for 4 hours straight on a road trip. He will also sing 80s songs with me at the top of our lungs as we're driving home late at night.

He loves food and loves to go out to eat fine food as much as I do. He also loves wine (though he prefers red, I prefer white). We're pretty funny in a restaurant swirling the glass and sniffing the contents when we have no clue what we're doing. This is our inside joke. He enjoys beer as well, and he has broadened my horizons far past Michelob Light.

We both love movies, but I hate horror flicks. I don't begrudge him going to see them with his friends (or sometimes mine). He also doesn't make fun of me when I hide my face behind a pillow in thrillers.

He doesn't question why the house is a wreck yet I have 6 new scrapbook pages to show him.

We have opposite talents that work really well together. He does dishes every night, I cook. He is not good with money, and I'm a better manager (when I actually do it). He will do anything around the house if need be. I am not as patient doing homework with the kids. He'll dive into a project with him like his job depends on it. Sometimes I have to remind him that he's already finished 4th grade, so it's best to let the kids take the lead. He will also sit for hours listening to a child stumble over big words in a book, when all I can think of is that I could get through it a lot faster myself.

Finally, the most important reason why our marriage works (even though there really are a zillion others I haven't written about) is because we make each other laugh. After all these years we can still crack each other up, and we do so often.

Happy Anniversary Mr. Frumpler. I'd happily marry you all over again.


Post a Comment

<< Home

Name: Cattiva
Location: Virginia, United States

About Me: I'm the mom of three: #1 Son (20), The Princess of Wails (17) and their baby brother - The Baby (6). I was a grad-student working on an MA in history until we were surprised - I mean blessed - with The Baby. I'll get back to it...someday (the thesis, not the kid - I have no choice concerning the kid). I am one of only a few people I went to school with who is actually using their history degree in my career (and to think my Father called it Basket-weaving!). I live a very hectic life amongst massive clutter. I call it a good day if we have managed to get home at night without losing one of the kids (no matter how hard I try!). Friends say I have a humorous take on life's happenings. The sad part is that what I write about is true. I laugh to keep from crying.

See my complete profile

Best of Blogs 


 Subscribe in a reader

This Day in History

eXTReMe Tracker