Monday, December 06, 2004

Christmas Nazis

I just can't understand Christmas Nazis. These people have their act together. They have the whole house decorated and the Christmas cards mailed before the Thanksgiving turkey carcass has even hit the fridge. What is wrong with these people? Don't get me wrong. In a perfect world, I'd be a Christmas Nazi, too. I love the holiday and I love the decorations. The problem is that this is not the perfect world. This is MY world.

I don't know why I do this to myself. I have good intentions, but every year it's the same thing. 11 days after Turkey day and the house is still strewn with Christmas boxes. There is fake greenery everywhere. It looks like a flock of poinsettias has exploded. I have to constantly yell to remind the herd not to step on the light strings that adorn the living room floor and are strewn over the furniture. I'm getting hoarse. The kids are no help. The Little One is running around with tinsel in her hair (we don't put tinsel on our trees, so I have no idea where she got it). I haven't seen #1 Son in two days. He's a teenager, so I assume he's hibernating. He only comes out of his room to forage for food. I think I heard him mumble something yesterday, but I can't be sure.

We have already broken 3 ornaments, and yet we have not even started putting up the trees. And why isn't the artificial tree that goes in the front of the house up yet? Because we lost not one, but TWO tree stands. How does that happen? How can you LOSE a tree stand? Tree stands are pretty specific items. It's not like we would have used them for something else during the year.

There is good news, though. We have an overabundance of 10 foot extension cords. This is probably because we lost them last year and I went out and bought new ones. Either they have bred, or at some point the "lost" cords were found and they all got packed together. I'm hopeful that I will eventually find the candles that go in all the windows so that I have something to attach to all those extension cords.

I figure we have 17 days.


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Name: Cattiva
Location: Virginia, United States

About Me: I'm the mom of three: #1 Son (20), The Princess of Wails (17) and their baby brother - The Baby (6). I was a grad-student working on an MA in history until we were surprised - I mean blessed - with The Baby. I'll get back to it...someday (the thesis, not the kid - I have no choice concerning the kid). I am one of only a few people I went to school with who is actually using their history degree in my career (and to think my Father called it Basket-weaving!). I live a very hectic life amongst massive clutter. I call it a good day if we have managed to get home at night without losing one of the kids (no matter how hard I try!). Friends say I have a humorous take on life's happenings. The sad part is that what I write about is true. I laugh to keep from crying.

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