We Are So Proud

Today I had yet another look at the alien growing in my belly. It was scheduled as a routine ultrasound and The Little One went along to watch. She was AMAZED at what she saw. The baby is active, and everything continues to be normal. We already knew that the kid is a boy from the "amnio-fun-fest" I endured a few weeks ago, but the Sonographer was bound and determined to get a shot of the Whoo-Ha for his Daddy (and my FIL, who has made many jokes about protecting the family jewels).

As it turned out, the little bugger was not real cooperative (obviously a child of mine). He kicked, he rolled over, and he kept his knees together. BUT the BEST part was that he refused to let go of his little friend with his hand! Yes my friends, my child is seemingly fond of holding his Hoo-Ha. The Little One mentioned that, "oh YEAH that's definitely a boy!" After much laughter on our parts (sonographer included), the kid finally let go of the jewels long enough to get a picture. There are his thighs splayed open, his boyhood clearly visible and his hand hovering over the top of the jewels ready to stake his claim again.

Needless to say, my Hubby and his Dad are ecstatic. I wonder though...what does this incident reveal about this kid?

IF Only

#1 Son got his braces today. This is the final step of a three-part treatment to straighten his teeth. Part one was something called a Herpst (sp?) Appliance. This little gem moved his bottom jaw forward to align with the top. You see he inherited an overbite from his father. Lucky him. His father, my ex, didn't have his fixed when he was young so he had the pleasure of having his jaw broken surgically, then wired shut for 6 weeks at the age of 18. I can only imagine the blissful quiet his mother got to experience. The appliance, as you can guess, was very pricey. It also made the kid resemble the Terminator for a year.

Part two of our orthodontic odyssey involved the extraction of several teeth. It was only after this fun and games that we learned we had maxed out his lifetime orthodontics insurance benefit. Each of those teeth was paid for out of pocket (as was the majority of the Herpst). #1 was rather amazed that we actually have to pay money to torture him.

So today, we moved on to the third and final step. As I was adding up the numbers in my head, I developed a list. Here are a few things we could have spent the "teeth money" on, IF ONLY my kid had been born with straight teeth:

A Caribbean cruise for all four of us...for 10 days

A first class European vacation for just C. and I

A reliable older used car

A killer new deck in the back yard (complete with the koi pond that C. covets)

New windows for the upstairs…the fancy kind

A new camper to "see the country"

The list could go on, but I decided to stop. We are not accustomed to all that luxury. #1 Son's teeth have saved us from ourselves. I made a promise to him though. If he does something stupid in the future to ruin his new perfect smile, he will have to pay me back every dime...with interest.

Back to the Future

I do not want to say I am psychic (psycho, yes - psychic, no), but there are incidents in this family that allow me to see into the future. Sunday was a perfect example. As the kids and I were walking to the SUVee action jeep, The Little One "called shotgun" meaning she wanted to sit in the front seat. That is when it started. #1 Son pointed out, rather testily, that HE never got to ride in the front seat when he was 10. He had to wait until he was 12. He then began reciting the list of transgressions that he has suffered because SHE got to do stuff early and HE had to wait until he was older.

In response, The Little One began indignantly reciting how unfair her life is because HE gets to do everything and she doesn't. He has been to a "real" concert, he was allowed to go to the beach fest with his friends this weekend, and the list goes on and on.

I finally diffused the situation by saying, "#1, you're learning how crappy it is to be the oldest child because you had to wait longer to do anything that she already gets to do. You were my guinea pig and that's not fair." I then told The Little One "you're learning how crappy it is to be the youngest. He gets to do everything first and you have to wait until you are a little older. That's not fair either." I then launched into my "Life Is Not Fair, So Deal With It" speech. It is one of my favorites. It was then that it hit me. I could see the future, once this baby arrives, plain as day.

(Insert whiney teen and pre-teen voice where appropriate)

Her: How come HE gets to eat strained bananas? I had to try ALL the vegetables before I could even TOUCH the fruits!

Him: Oh YEAH? Well she made me try the strained meats! At least YOU didn't have to endure that! (ED Note: I made one little mistake when he was an infant and I am never allowed to live it down - it's the ONE thing he refuses to let go of, not like he even remembers or anything).

Her: Whatever. She has more naked baby pictures of ME than YOU!

Him: Get over it already. I bet she doesn't have ANY of the new baby.

Her: Yeah, no doubt. Why is it the new kid has 3 teething rings and they light up and stuff?? She gave me a plain rubber one.

Him: Too bad! She gave me a washcloth wet down with juice and then frozen. How much fun was that? (ED Note: It works really well).

Her: Yeah, the new kid will probably be riding shotgun when he's three.

Eventually the baby will be old enough to join them and they will all turn on me. We'll hear stories about me forcing them to walk to school in a blizzard, barefoot.

You know, the kind of tales I tell them about my childhood.

Duck and Cover - She's Back

I am not sure if it is good news or not, but I'm back. I want to THANK everyone for their concern. I received some wonderful email inquiring about my health, etc. Honestly, the last couple of weeks of the semester were rather hellish, then I endured an amniocentesis last week, so my mind was not exactly focused.

So far everything is normal with the baby, and we will get final results from the testing next week sometime (I can't believe it takes 2 weeks, but at least they were able to give us preliminary results). It's a boy, much to The Little One's chagrin. She wanted a baby sister, but honestly this is better. She'll remain the only girl, and thus the rotten "princess" - sorry, I mean spoiled rotten. I don't think this family (and certainly not this house) is big enough for two little girls.

Again THANK YOU for your concern. I have missed you all.

Catt

The Future

Last Friday #1 Son's History class was tasked with defining the five most important WORLD CHANGING events in their lifetime. They discussed many events during the class period. The teacher defined world-changing events as those that affect the entire world and have resulted in major changes in economics, policy, foreign relations, etc. At the end of class, each student had to make a list of their personal top five. The teacher then collected the lists and tallied the results.

Here then is the list:

The Terrorist Attacks of September 11, 2001
The Persian Gulf War
The War in Iraq

And my personal favorites:

The Michael Jackson Trial
Janet Jackson's "Nipplegate" scandal

This is the generation of our future leaders. Lord help us.