Back to the Future
I do not want to say I am psychic (psycho, yes - psychic, no), but there are incidents in this family that allow me to see into the future. Sunday was a perfect example. As the kids and I were walking to the SUVee action jeep, The Little One "called shotgun" meaning she wanted to sit in the front seat. That is when it started. #1 Son pointed out, rather testily, that HE never got to ride in the front seat when he was 10. He had to wait until he was 12. He then began reciting the list of transgressions that he has suffered because SHE got to do stuff early and HE had to wait until he was older.
In response, The Little One began indignantly reciting how unfair her life is because HE gets to do everything and she doesn't. He has been to a "real" concert, he was allowed to go to the beach fest with his friends this weekend, and the list goes on and on.
I finally diffused the situation by saying, "#1, you're learning how crappy it is to be the oldest child because you had to wait longer to do anything that she already gets to do. You were my guinea pig and that's not fair." I then told The Little One "you're learning how crappy it is to be the youngest. He gets to do everything first and you have to wait until you are a little older. That's not fair either." I then launched into my "Life Is Not Fair, So Deal With It" speech. It is one of my favorites. It was then that it hit me. I could see the future, once this baby arrives, plain as day.
(Insert whiney teen and pre-teen voice where appropriate)
Her: How come HE gets to eat strained bananas? I had to try ALL the vegetables before I could even TOUCH the fruits!
Him: Oh YEAH? Well she made me try the strained meats! At least YOU didn't have to endure that! (ED Note: I made one little mistake when he was an infant and I am never allowed to live it down - it's the ONE thing he refuses to let go of, not like he even remembers or anything).
Her: Whatever. She has more naked baby pictures of ME than YOU!
Him: Get over it already. I bet she doesn't have ANY of the new baby.
Her: Yeah, no doubt. Why is it the new kid has 3 teething rings and they light up and stuff?? She gave me a plain rubber one.
Him: Too bad! She gave me a washcloth wet down with juice and then frozen. How much fun was that? (ED Note: It works really well).
Her: Yeah, the new kid will probably be riding shotgun when he's three.
Eventually the baby will be old enough to join them and they will all turn on me. We'll hear stories about me forcing them to walk to school in a blizzard, barefoot.
You know, the kind of tales I tell them about my childhood.
In response, The Little One began indignantly reciting how unfair her life is because HE gets to do everything and she doesn't. He has been to a "real" concert, he was allowed to go to the beach fest with his friends this weekend, and the list goes on and on.
I finally diffused the situation by saying, "#1, you're learning how crappy it is to be the oldest child because you had to wait longer to do anything that she already gets to do. You were my guinea pig and that's not fair." I then told The Little One "you're learning how crappy it is to be the youngest. He gets to do everything first and you have to wait until you are a little older. That's not fair either." I then launched into my "Life Is Not Fair, So Deal With It" speech. It is one of my favorites. It was then that it hit me. I could see the future, once this baby arrives, plain as day.
(Insert whiney teen and pre-teen voice where appropriate)
Her: How come HE gets to eat strained bananas? I had to try ALL the vegetables before I could even TOUCH the fruits!
Him: Oh YEAH? Well she made me try the strained meats! At least YOU didn't have to endure that! (ED Note: I made one little mistake when he was an infant and I am never allowed to live it down - it's the ONE thing he refuses to let go of, not like he even remembers or anything).
Her: Whatever. She has more naked baby pictures of ME than YOU!
Him: Get over it already. I bet she doesn't have ANY of the new baby.
Her: Yeah, no doubt. Why is it the new kid has 3 teething rings and they light up and stuff?? She gave me a plain rubber one.
Him: Too bad! She gave me a washcloth wet down with juice and then frozen. How much fun was that? (ED Note: It works really well).
Her: Yeah, the new kid will probably be riding shotgun when he's three.
Eventually the baby will be old enough to join them and they will all turn on me. We'll hear stories about me forcing them to walk to school in a blizzard, barefoot.
You know, the kind of tales I tell them about my childhood.
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