Snap! Dude, You're So Tight It's Whack!

Warning: In the words of my children, I am "about to get all PaPa on you." Translated that means I am about to utter a phrase that sounds like something my father would say. In my day, you could understand the language of young people. (Ed. Note: My father is fond of starting statements with "In my day." Upon hearing those words, my children automatically tune out.)

I hate to admit it, but the majority of the time I have no idea what the heck my kids are talking about. Multiply my confusion exponentially when they are talking to their friends. I constantly have to ask for a translation. Below is a list of words that have recently caused me pause. Please keep in mind that while my children are usually happy to translate for me, I am NOT allowed to actually use these terms, lest I cause them severe embarrassment.

DUDE - n. I had to include this one because apparently it's meaning has expanded. No longer is dude exclusively used to refer to a male. It is now used to refer to any person, regardless of gender. For instance, "Look at that dude's skirt!" Evidently, this word also refers to one's mother, as I am called dude quite frequently, i.e. "Dude, can I have a fruit roll-up?"

TIGHT - adj. Apparently this is a term that means good looking. It is used much like "phat" was in the 1990s. For example, "That dude is tight!" I also believe it doubles as a positive adjective meaning "cool," i.e. "That song is tight!" (Ed. Note: A parent dancing around waving their hands over their head and shouting, "Look at me! I'm tight!" causes a child to go into seizures. I know this from experience.)

WHACK - adj. No longer reserved for striking someone or something, this term I believe signifies something that is not quite normal or right. For instance, "My sister is whack." The object or person in question is often something you don't particularly enjoy, i.e. "That math test was whack" or "This homework is whack." Whack can also be used to express embarrassment, such as "Mom, don't kiss me in front of my friends. That's whack!"

SNAP - This is an exclamation. For the longest time I believed it was always used in a positive manner, i.e. "Snap! I found my Gameboy!" or "Snap! We're out of school on Friday!" Either the meaning has expanded in the last two weeks, or I misunderstood from the beginning. Snap is now also used as a negative expression. Examples of this are, "Snap! I dropped my phone!" or "Snap! I'm out of fruit roll-ups!" Recently, almost every sentence my daughter utters begins with this term.

There are others, but honestly it makes my head hurt. To think, my parents were confused by simple terms like "cool" and "psych."