Wednesday, May 24, 2006

The Monster I Have Created

The other title I was toying with for this post was "My Own Personal Monster." Obviously I have been listening to some late 80's and early 90's music. Major kudos to anyone who can figure out which bands from my two post titles. I'm willing to bet no one gets them both - one yes, but not both.

Anyhoo, I am a BAAAD Mommy. I have no one to blame for my rotten baby but myself. You would think that after two kids, I would be able to handle the latest edition. I didn't do so bad with the first two. Granted, they will probably be in therapy for some portion of their lives, but hey, at least I didn't kill them (yet) right? The baby, on the other hand, is a lesson in childrearing that NO book has printed yet.

You see, he will NOT nap. Let me clarify, he will not take an afternoon nap despite the fact that he is exhausted. He takes a short morning nap, but when he is REALLY tired and REALLY needs it - no dice. I fully admit that this is because I was lazy, though I prefer to think of it as absentmindedness due to my "advanced maternal age" (a condition that was actually written on my medical chart). I'll fess up - I allowed him to take his afternoon nap in the swing everyday for about a month not so long ago. Don't hate - at least I was able to get the dishes done (read that - "do my own thing such as crafts, watching bad television, etc"). Of course I am now paying for it in spades. As this is how my luck runs, the kid has outgrown the swing (at 8 months). Remember that pathetic skinny little preemie? He's a complete pudgeball now. His feet hang over the edge of the swing and it creaks a really scary death march when it tries to propel the chunky baby back and forth. In the interest of safety (and a healthy fear of CPS), we have retired the swing.

This brings up the other bad habit that I have allowed the child to develop over the past couple of months. Again, it is most probably my "advanced maternal issue." When I didn't plop the kid in the swing, I allowed him to nap on my shoulder as I also napped. Ouch. That's painful to admit.

So here we are trying to unlearn bad habits. He rubs his eyes, he yawns, he nurses until he's sleepy (no I am not allowing him to fall asleep while nursing) and yet...NOTHING. NADA. ZIP. SCREAMFEST. The last several days have been interesting. As you may have read in my last post, he has done everything from screaming himself hoarse to screaming so long in intervals (i.e. he screams, takes a 5 minute break then screams again) that his eyes get swollen, the temperature in his room raises to "hellfire" from all the hot air and I end up waiting for the authorities, that the neighbors have certainly called, to arrive. This kid looks so bad after these episodes that yesterday one of my friends swore he had been smoking dope. He had all the signs: red half closed eyes, stupid grin, babbling incoherently, the munchies. It is pitiful.

People wonder why I drink. I can only hope that I live through this latest "challenge" before I become a card carrying alcoholic. It's not looking very promising.


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Name: Cattiva
Location: Virginia, United States

About Me: I'm the mom of three: #1 Son (20), The Princess of Wails (17) and their baby brother - The Baby (6). I was a grad-student working on an MA in history until we were surprised - I mean blessed - with The Baby. I'll get back to it...someday (the thesis, not the kid - I have no choice concerning the kid). I am one of only a few people I went to school with who is actually using their history degree in my career (and to think my Father called it Basket-weaving!). I live a very hectic life amongst massive clutter. I call it a good day if we have managed to get home at night without losing one of the kids (no matter how hard I try!). Friends say I have a humorous take on life's happenings. The sad part is that what I write about is true. I laugh to keep from crying.

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