Tuesday, August 03, 2004

I'm Happy With My Penis The Way It Is


I had the occasion to check a very old email address tonight. I only keep it around (at the cost of $5.95 a month!) because it once appeared on my business cards. It has been a couple of months since I checked it, and lo and behold there were 742 new messages. That's not an exaggeration. Out of 742 messages, there were probably about 500 that were spam (the rest were mailing lists that I rarely read anymore). There was only 1 message to me personally. Excessive spam is a major reason why I don't use that address much anymore. It's really annoying. I can't tell you how many offers I received for cheap Microsoft software, refinancing my mortgage, low cost viagra and my personal favorite, increasing my penis size.

What kind of a moron actually falls for this crap? Obviously there must be some small percentage of the Internet community that clicks through and maybe even purchases from these annoying marketing ploys. There has to be, or the spammers wouldn't continue to send it. Where do these customers come from? Are they inbred? Did Bubba get a new 'puter in the double-wide? How mentally challenged do you have to be to buy stuff from an unsolicited email? I envision these intellectually challenged people and can only think that they are the ones for whom all those laws are written and those stupid warnings are created. Stuff like seat belt and helmet laws. Warnings like "do not iron clothing while being worn on the body" and "caution coffee in this cup is very hot." I say let the idiots kill themselves. It only strengthens the gene pool.

As for me, I'm off to buy Windows XP for $20 so that I can surf the web to refinance my house for 1.8%. This should cause me to grow a penis, ripe for enlargement. Then I can buy cheap viagra to put my new huge penis to good use.



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Name: Cattiva
Location: Virginia, United States

About Me: I'm the mom of three: #1 Son (20), The Princess of Wails (17) and their baby brother - The Baby (6). I was a grad-student working on an MA in history until we were surprised - I mean blessed - with The Baby. I'll get back to it...someday (the thesis, not the kid - I have no choice concerning the kid). I am one of only a few people I went to school with who is actually using their history degree in my career (and to think my Father called it Basket-weaving!). I live a very hectic life amongst massive clutter. I call it a good day if we have managed to get home at night without losing one of the kids (no matter how hard I try!). Friends say I have a humorous take on life's happenings. The sad part is that what I write about is true. I laugh to keep from crying.

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