Telephone Trial & Error
Part of the "thrill" of being a parent to a 13-year-old boy and a 10-year-old girl is that you never have to answer your home phone again. Ever. The sound of that little bell sets off a stampede of hooves much like the starting bell at the Kentucky Derby. No matter where they are in the house, they fling themselves at the infernal machine screaming their battle cry, "I GOT IT!" Why should I bother even trying to answer? It's not for me anyway, unless of course it is a bill collector and I am in the bathroom. Then the kids will hunt me down to give it to me. Thanks.
There are times when they are not allowed to answer the phone. If they are doing homework or chores (yes they actually have some – it's free labor, I'm not as dumb as I look), the phone is off limits. It is during those brief times that I actually get to pick up the receiver. This maneuver exposes me to the dreaded phenomenon known as "their friends." Why is it that children are taught "family life" in school and yet we do not teach them "proper telephone etiquette?" Here is a sampling of calls I actually took over the holiday break:
"Her Best Friend" – 672 times. This kid does not understand the concept of "she will call you back." If my daughter has not called her back in what the friend has deemed an appropriate amount of time (namely 2 minutes and 45 seconds), Best Friend simply calls the house. AGAIN.
"The Giggler" – There are a couple of gigglers, but they all sound the same. I think they ask for the boy, but I can't quite be sure.
"The Doubter" – This is one of the Little One's friends who does not believe the Little One cannot come to the phone. "Are you sure she can't talk? Will you tell her to call me? She's going to call me back right?" Talking to this kid is like the Spanish Inquisition.
"The Party Girls" – These young ladies have conference calling and they ring #1 Son en masse. When I answer, they all trill, "Is #1 there?!" I think The Giggler is a part of this group.
"The Rude Girl" – I can't stand this kid. When I tell her #1 is not able to come to the phone she hangs up. I've got some words for this twit, if she would only stay on the phone long enough for me to yell at her. I suspect this is the same kid whose cell phone "accidentally" calls occasionally in the middle of the night.
I think my all time favorite this break was Morgan. Morgan obviously has Caller-ID. Our conversation went like this:
Me: Hello
Her: Like did someone call my house?
Me: Not today, no one has been home.
Her: Like are you sure?
Me: Pretty positive.
Her: It was like the 13th. (This was now December 23rd)
Me: Uh, It could have been. I have children, maybe one of them called.
Her: Like what are their names?
Me: And who is this?
Her: Morgan.
Me: Morgan, are you in Middle School?
Her: Yeah.
Me: Then you probably know my son, #1
Her: Oh WOW! #1 called me?
Me: Apparently.
Her: Like for real? He really called ME? I can't believe #1 called me! Like that is so cool! Like is he there?
Me: No, he's out with his grandparents.
Her: Like this is so cool! #1 called ME! Is this his phone number?
Like *sigh*.
They went back to school today, making this my second favorite day of the year. My first favorite, of course, is the first day of school in September. The phone, which has rung every 20 minutes for the last eleven days straight, has sat quietly in its cradle all day. It is kind of eerie. Maybe one of the credit card companies will call.
There are times when they are not allowed to answer the phone. If they are doing homework or chores (yes they actually have some – it's free labor, I'm not as dumb as I look), the phone is off limits. It is during those brief times that I actually get to pick up the receiver. This maneuver exposes me to the dreaded phenomenon known as "their friends." Why is it that children are taught "family life" in school and yet we do not teach them "proper telephone etiquette?" Here is a sampling of calls I actually took over the holiday break:
"Her Best Friend" – 672 times. This kid does not understand the concept of "she will call you back." If my daughter has not called her back in what the friend has deemed an appropriate amount of time (namely 2 minutes and 45 seconds), Best Friend simply calls the house. AGAIN.
"The Giggler" – There are a couple of gigglers, but they all sound the same. I think they ask for the boy, but I can't quite be sure.
"The Doubter" – This is one of the Little One's friends who does not believe the Little One cannot come to the phone. "Are you sure she can't talk? Will you tell her to call me? She's going to call me back right?" Talking to this kid is like the Spanish Inquisition.
"The Party Girls" – These young ladies have conference calling and they ring #1 Son en masse. When I answer, they all trill, "Is #1 there?!" I think The Giggler is a part of this group.
"The Rude Girl" – I can't stand this kid. When I tell her #1 is not able to come to the phone she hangs up. I've got some words for this twit, if she would only stay on the phone long enough for me to yell at her. I suspect this is the same kid whose cell phone "accidentally" calls occasionally in the middle of the night.
I think my all time favorite this break was Morgan. Morgan obviously has Caller-ID. Our conversation went like this:
Me: Hello
Her: Like did someone call my house?
Me: Not today, no one has been home.
Her: Like are you sure?
Me: Pretty positive.
Her: It was like the 13th. (This was now December 23rd)
Me: Uh, It could have been. I have children, maybe one of them called.
Her: Like what are their names?
Me: And who is this?
Her: Morgan.
Me: Morgan, are you in Middle School?
Her: Yeah.
Me: Then you probably know my son, #1
Her: Oh WOW! #1 called me?
Me: Apparently.
Her: Like for real? He really called ME? I can't believe #1 called me! Like that is so cool! Like is he there?
Me: No, he's out with his grandparents.
Her: Like this is so cool! #1 called ME! Is this his phone number?
Like *sigh*.
They went back to school today, making this my second favorite day of the year. My first favorite, of course, is the first day of school in September. The phone, which has rung every 20 minutes for the last eleven days straight, has sat quietly in its cradle all day. It is kind of eerie. Maybe one of the credit card companies will call.
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