The Season of My Defeat

My friends, spring has sprung here in the Mid-Atlantic region. Flowers are blooming, there are buds on the trees and it is gorgeous. My neighbors have been out working on their yards in the beautiful weather. I live in a neighborhood where people take pride in their property and they work endlessly to beautify their yards. Their gardens are lush with colorful flowers and their grass is bright green showcasing their striking trees and bushes. And thus, my inadequacies are glaringly obvious to all who drive down our street. It is time to concede my defeat, yet again.

You see my friends, I am loath to finally admit my shortcoming, but I am landscaping impaired. I have a brown thumb. In short, I kill things. I do not mean to, in fact I always have the best of intentions. Every year I spend money on the best bulbs and plants. I dig and plant in the hopes that THIS year will be different. Alas, it is not to be.

What you see above is a picture of my front "garden." It is the SINGLE tulip that came up this year of the dozens I planted. I had visions of this sea of pink, white and bi-colored tulips swaying in the breeze. Instead, that green crap that looks like grass took over. It is called monkey grass and was apparently planted years ago by the previous owners of the house. Why? I cannot tell you because the stuff is like kudzu. Every summer, I dig those little pesky bulbs out and believe that it is FINALLY gone. Instead, I can only imagine that they are like sand crabs at the beach. They see me coming and burrow deeper into the ground, only to multiply and foil me yet again the following season.

This year, I get serious. If I have to rent a backhoe to dig up the entire front of the house I WILL prevail. In the meantime, if you happen to be driving down our street among yards that look like the Botanical Gardens, you will know which house is ours. We're the one that looks like an overgrown landfill.

Happy Spring.