Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Searches That Found My Blog - Teenager Edition

Regular readers might remember that in the past, I have posted some interesting searches that have returned this blog. Truth be told, I actually keep a list because some of these searches really crack me up, and sometimes they shock me. Tonight I happened to be reading through the list and noticed a theme in several of my favorites. My friends, I give you the Teenager Edition of crazy searches that have found my blog and my responses to those poor misguided searchers - based on my experience, of course. Enjoy. OR OR OR "5'9" OR "5'10" OR "5'11" growing OR grown OR grew OR growth OR spurt height OR tall
Dear Mom: I feel your pain as #1 Son is now topping 6 feet at 14 years old. I cannot afford to keep him in clothes, much less food. Demand reparations when your kid becomes a successful adult. You are entitled.

What does it mean when my ears ring? Dear Mom & Dad: It means you have a teenager and he has a stereo. Don't even bother trying to drown him out with your own music. You cannot win. Instead, you might want to move and not tell him where you are going.

What can you buy with $37.03 for a teenager? Dear Parent: Absolutely nothing. Money is not the issue. What matters is that you picked it out. Save yourself the hassle and just give the kid the cash.

Teenager teacher crying Dear Educator: You are a Saint and you are not alone. I am sure it is perfectly normal for the teachers of teenagers to cry on a regular basis, probably daily. Hang in there and be thankful you are not their parent.

What does it mean when your left eye jumps? Dear Jumpy: It means you have children, most probably a teenager. Drink - it works for me.

We want a baby. Dear Parents-to-be: Can I interest you in an 11 or a 14 year old? They're hardly used. I guarantee they will make you rethink that "baby thing." Because I am not a total sadist, you can return them after you have put them through college.

What you can do with two kids,1 teenager and any part of the house to make money? Dear Entrepreneur-wanna-be: You found MY blog with that search?? Did you find the answer? WHERE! Tell me damn it!

What does a teenager want for Christmas? Dear Santa: Money. Actually they want the house without parents so that they can stay up all night, sleep all day, play their stereos so loud that their ears bleed and eat junk food until they barf.

What does grey hair mean? Dear Delusional: You have teens. The older they are, the more you spend on hair coloring.


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Name: Cattiva
Location: Virginia, United States

About Me: I'm the mom of three: #1 Son (20), The Princess of Wails (17) and their baby brother - The Baby (6). I was a grad-student working on an MA in history until we were surprised - I mean blessed - with The Baby. I'll get back to it...someday (the thesis, not the kid - I have no choice concerning the kid). I am one of only a few people I went to school with who is actually using their history degree in my career (and to think my Father called it Basket-weaving!). I live a very hectic life amongst massive clutter. I call it a good day if we have managed to get home at night without losing one of the kids (no matter how hard I try!). Friends say I have a humorous take on life's happenings. The sad part is that what I write about is true. I laugh to keep from crying.

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