Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Conspiracy Theory

We traveled out of town this past weekend to attend The Little One's last big soccer tournament of the year. Despite being crammed into the SUVee action jeep (I cannot believe we actually need a bigger vehicle! Baby stuff doesn't pack as well as I would like), and traveling for the first time with a young baby, it was a pretty good weekend.

The worst part of the trip actually occurred on our ride home. I absolutely HATE this one stretch of highway (for those of you who are local, I'm talking about 58 between Suffolk and Emporia). It was on this stretch that C. received his first speeding ticket in years. Unfortunately, I am responsible. You see C. has a tendency to drive like a little old lady, especially when he is tired. I was also tired and therefore was anxious to get home. You can see where this is headed. I nagged him into speeding up. Well, not nagging in its purest form, it was more like being a smart mouth and goading him into it. No less than 3 minutes after increasing his speed, we saw the blue lights.

I cannot convey to you the guilt I felt, especially since I should have known better. There are ALWAYS people pulled over along this stretch of road. The speed limit is 55 mph and it is patrolled by the local Sheriff's department, not the more sophisticated State Troopers. I had hoped that Barney Fife would note C.'s stellar driving record and issue a warning, but no. He wrote the ticket and made sure to point out that he was "cutting us a break" by reducing the speed from 70 to 68 so it was not a reckless driving citation. Keep in mind that the fines are calculated by each mile you are over the speed limit - the more miles over, the higher the fine.

Here's the fishy thing my friends. Our cruise control was set at 62. People were blowing past us like we were still imitating Grandma on her way home from church. There is NO WAY we were doing 70 or more. My theory is that Officer Fife and his pals know how inconvenient it is for a motorist to travel back to Podunk General District Court to fight a ticket. They make out due to sheer volume. Perhaps they are on commission?

Interestingly, about a mile down the road we saw a HUGE billboard advertising a local garage that specializes in speedometer calibration. I'm betting Officer Fife owns a stake in it.


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Name: Cattiva
Location: Virginia, United States

About Me: I'm the mom of three: #1 Son (20), The Princess of Wails (17) and their baby brother - The Baby (6). I was a grad-student working on an MA in history until we were surprised - I mean blessed - with The Baby. I'll get back to it...someday (the thesis, not the kid - I have no choice concerning the kid). I am one of only a few people I went to school with who is actually using their history degree in my career (and to think my Father called it Basket-weaving!). I live a very hectic life amongst massive clutter. I call it a good day if we have managed to get home at night without losing one of the kids (no matter how hard I try!). Friends say I have a humorous take on life's happenings. The sad part is that what I write about is true. I laugh to keep from crying.

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