Sunday, August 28, 2005

Reality Really Bites

In the past year or so that I have written this blog, I have been the recipient of some interesting communication. Probably the strangest email I have gotten has come from the producers of reality television shows. Seriously. I'm not making this stuff up. Who knew these people read blogs?

Recently I was approached about a children's nutrition documentary. That one sounded interesting - something about their diets causing them to be crabby. I almost responded, but honestly I could not help but imagine the network suing me for injuries to the poor dietician who attempted to take macaroni and cheese and candy away from The Little One.

The producers of Wife Swap also contacted me. Can you imagine? I had never actually watched the show until after I received the email. After half an episode, I decided to pass. I would not wish swapping with us on any poor unsuspecting woman. Besides, which family would we be - the white trash family or the anal retentive one? Don't answer that.

I can understand finding us through the blog, but the latest communication I received came via the mail. You see we recently filed suit against a tree guy that defrauded us (you may remember the tree saga we have been enduring this past year). It seems that the Judge Joe Brown show is interested in having us appear. I would almost consider this one, as you are guaranteed to receive the money if you win a judgment along with travel expenses to Los Angeles. Honestly though, I am not holding my breath because the "esteemed gentleman" we are suing has had several judgments entered against him over the past few months. It seems he does not bother to appear in court. I am fairly positive that Judge Joe would not want to waste any folksy quips on me alone.

Here then, is the $60,000 question: Why have the producers of shows that I would be excited to appear on not contacted me? Where are the people from Mr. Mom or Brat Camp? I honestly cannot think of many things more entertaining that watching my beloved Hubby running this household for awhile. Don't get me wrong; I love the man dearly, but C. juggling everyone's schedule and the daily household grind while fueled with nothing but ramen noodles, macaroni and cheese and Coq au Vin (the only food he knows how to make) would make for good television. And Brat Camp? That is the show I'd really like to be a part of. How did I miss the casting for that one? I would have gladly sent one (or both) of these children into the wilderness for several weeks.

I am sure parents everywhere have made this first season of Brat Camp a hit. In the words of my children, "well DUH!" That can only mean one thing. They are probably casting for future seasons. Please, if you just happen to be part of the production crew for this show, feel free to contact me. I promise that my kids are photogenic, and I'm not too proud to beg.


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Name: Cattiva
Location: Virginia, United States

About Me: I'm the mom of three: #1 Son (20), The Princess of Wails (17) and their baby brother - The Baby (6). I was a grad-student working on an MA in history until we were surprised - I mean blessed - with The Baby. I'll get back to it...someday (the thesis, not the kid - I have no choice concerning the kid). I am one of only a few people I went to school with who is actually using their history degree in my career (and to think my Father called it Basket-weaving!). I live a very hectic life amongst massive clutter. I call it a good day if we have managed to get home at night without losing one of the kids (no matter how hard I try!). Friends say I have a humorous take on life's happenings. The sad part is that what I write about is true. I laugh to keep from crying.

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