Ben and Jerry are Evil

Ben and Jerry, of ice cream fame, are evil incarnate. I am not talking about the cute "Aw she threw a glass of ice water on her brother to wake him up" kind of evil. I'm talking mean and sadistic evil. Why else would they insist on packing my beloved "Half Baked"** ice cream in those tiny pint containers? What exactly is wrong with a half a gallon? I would buy it. Sure, it would cost a small fortune, but those stupid pints aren't cheap as it is. They are eating up a significant portion of my grocery budget. Do the evil Ben and Jerry not realize that I lust for this stuff? Because this has become a pregnancy craving, it is obviously medically necessary. I think I am going to try to talk my doctor into writing a prescription for "Half Baked." I wonder if my insurance company will cover it.



** (Editor's Note: Do not bother commenting about how appropriate it is that my favorite flavor is called "Half Baked." My beloved family has more than exhausted those jokes. Apparently they think they are comedians.)