Monday, July 11, 2005

Things I Learned On My Summer Vacation

We have just returned from another little mini-vacation. Why do I do this to myself? Hopefully you will benefit from my newfound wisdom.

1) A child that makes a big deal out of remembering to bring her Gameboy on a road trip will forget to bring any games.

2) A child that spends 10 miles laughing at his sibling who forgot to pack Gameboy games will discover that he has forgotten his Gameboy, despite remembering to pack 17 games.

3) It is impossible for two children to work out a compromise to share one Gameboy and 17 games. Instead, they will taunt each other for 5 days straight.

4) Children can sniff out any and every gift shop within a 5-mile radius.

5) Asking a child to read, even something as small as a historical marker, during summer vacation will give them a "massive headache."

6) Despite getting a grade of 100 on a test and major project in school covering the subject, a ten-year-old child will tell you that Valley Forge is the place where "Washington Lincoln bought Delaware from the Indians after some war."

7) Summer vacation apparently causes a child's brains to leak from their head.

8) A tired, hungry child will chant "Mamma, Mamma, Mamma" continuously for 47 miles.

9) A teenager can fall asleep while listening to a screaming death metal CD through headphones. The other occupants of the car, however, will hear every note as if they are sitting in the front row of a concert hall. The teenager will instantly awaken when you turn off his Walkman. He will then be crabby.

10) There are no fewer than 62 radio stations in eastern Pennsylvania that broadcast the NASCAR race. This is not fun for non-NASCAR fans.

11) A child will moan and groan for almost an hour when subjected to a CD by the Dave Matthews Band. This same child will happily listen to the Veggie Tales CD 8 consecutive times...nonstop.

12) No matter which lane you choose when approaching the tollbooth, you will be behind the guy who is counting out $2.00 in pennies.

13) If you have a choice of two routes to reach your destination, pick the fastest one and THEN go the other way. You will save over an hour and a half sitting in traffic with the other drivers who thought they too were taking the faster route. We learned this lesson the hard way.

Happy Travels!


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Name: Cattiva
Location: Virginia, United States

About Me: I'm the mom of three: #1 Son (20), The Princess of Wails (17) and their baby brother - The Baby (6). I was a grad-student working on an MA in history until we were surprised - I mean blessed - with The Baby. I'll get back to it...someday (the thesis, not the kid - I have no choice concerning the kid). I am one of only a few people I went to school with who is actually using their history degree in my career (and to think my Father called it Basket-weaving!). I live a very hectic life amongst massive clutter. I call it a good day if we have managed to get home at night without losing one of the kids (no matter how hard I try!). Friends say I have a humorous take on life's happenings. The sad part is that what I write about is true. I laugh to keep from crying.

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