Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Lost His Shorts - Among Other Things

Why is it that when boy children reach the age of 13, their brains turn to mush and run out of their ears? I just do not understand it. Any common sense these man-children have begun to develop completely evaporates. Take the report card incident yesterday for example:

I have been patiently awaiting #1 Son's final report card that was supposed to arrive by mail. It had not arrived, but I chalked that up to the school's computer system, which has been known to cause delays. They have been out of school for a month though, so I was beginning to get concerned. I made the comment to the boy yesterday that I was going to call the school to inquire about the delay and also to complain that since other school districts sent out their report cards weeks ago, I felt a month was more than adequate.

Well, guess what? #1 Son neglected to tell me about the Math book he somehow managed to misplace. Luckily he fessed up before I embarrassed myself. It seems the school takes these little snafus rather seriously. His report card was being held hostage for $41.88. Can you imagine the thrill I felt? What really clinched it was his explanation. You see, he apparently attempted to turn his book in, but the teacher refused to take it. It seems he was trying to turn it in BEFORE the final exam and the teacher, in his wisdom, explained that the boy might actually require the book to study. So what did my darling child do? He proceeded to take it to a couple of classes and managed to leave it laying in a classroom somewhere. The book never made it back home.

After the ranting and raving (mine), I managed to liberate his report card. Did I mention it cost me $41.88? I think my favorite part of the whole experience was actually viewing the long anticipated grades. My son managed to get an "E" in gym. For those of you who are not politically correct, that means he failed gym for the last grading period (lucky for him, it only brought his final grade down to a C). You may be wondering, as I did (loudly and angrily), just how one manages to FAIL gym. As I still do not understand it myself, here is the explanation I received:

Him: I guess it might have been because I didn't dress out.

Me: Why in the world did you stop dressing out?

Him: I guess because I lost half of my gym uniform.

Me: What?! How did you manage to LOSE half of your uniform?

Him: I think it might have gotten stolen.

Me: You think? I specifically remember buying you a second lock for your gym locker. Just how was it stolen from your locker?

Him: Well see, I opened my locker to change and had to go to the bathroom. When I came back it was gone. I think that's what happened.

Me: (BIG sigh) So WHY am I just hearing about this now? You mean to tell me that you would rather take an F in the class than inform me so that we can replace a simple pair of cheap shorts?!

Him: Well I was trying to save you money. I didn't want you to have to pay for something I'd just outgrow anyway.

Where is this considerate attitude when he wants a pair of $100 tennis shoes?


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Name: Cattiva
Location: Virginia, United States

About Me: I'm the mom of three: #1 Son (20), The Princess of Wails (17) and their baby brother - The Baby (6). I was a grad-student working on an MA in history until we were surprised - I mean blessed - with The Baby. I'll get back to it...someday (the thesis, not the kid - I have no choice concerning the kid). I am one of only a few people I went to school with who is actually using their history degree in my career (and to think my Father called it Basket-weaving!). I live a very hectic life amongst massive clutter. I call it a good day if we have managed to get home at night without losing one of the kids (no matter how hard I try!). Friends say I have a humorous take on life's happenings. The sad part is that what I write about is true. I laugh to keep from crying.

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